Friday, August 17, 2007

So far...

So, what have I learned so far?

I have taken to introspection, to looking for the Gods within as well as without. That the vision I had served a purpose, and will continue to serve that purpose throughout my life. The purpose being to guide me in some quest to understand who I am in relation to all that is from the divine gods to the smallest of animals. What is my place, and if not why, then why not.

By starting at the top, with Hestia at the 12 o'clock point, I am forced to start with my immediate surroundings and to look at how they reflect who I am on the inside. Why, for example, does my home reflect a certain calm quality that is sorely missing in my inner soul? Some say it is my desire to be calm, hence my turn toward being so much more isolated, so much more introverted, so much more of a hermit in this calm environment i have created for myself. If I must understand this it is in the understanding that this home reflects what the Goddess Hestia wants me to understand.

I have learned that the fire within is always reflected in my actions, but that is not a revolutionary thought, what is revolutionary to me is that that self same fire and how it is reflected in the actions I take also tend to form the world I see around me because I choose and pick what I want to see, what I want to hear, what I want to experience in life while being guided by an inner conflict that seeks to force me to something while part of me refuses to allow it. This is what the Gods want me to face, do battle with, and even if it means I end up a bloody beaten mound of flesh at the sword of my own demons, I will come out of it better for understanding myself.

Hestia is the first impulse toward that, and this is why it was inevitable that I start with her. It was inevitable that I try to face her, who is so quiet, so seldom heard from even if ever present.

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