Monday, December 27, 2010

Back to the Meditations

Now that Heliogenna has passed, and I'm sorry that I have not shared a lot about it, but this year saw me covering a lot of shifts at work that made it difficult for me to do anything special, but I did my 8 prayers/poems in 9 days thing, and I also did Heliogenna specific tweets over at my @HellenicPrayer feed and have been getting some nice feedback. I want to get back to working my way through what Hephaestos is in my life as I attempt to meditate on his divinity.


According to some of the ancients, he was a laboring god. Tirelessly working at the forge, he was the creator of such works of wonder as the spider web thin threads that trapped his wife, the throne that trapped his mother, and the magnificent palaces of the Olympian Gods themselves. Shields made by Hephaestus were said to be inlaid by such magnificent scenes that they were almost said to move. He took pride in his work, and that, my friends is a thing I have much trouble with.


I am a menial worker, not something I find shameful or anything, but I do get that "Why is someone as smart as you still a waiter at your age." If I am to be honest, I am not that smart, but beyond that, I am not sure I even enjoy my job, yet it has helped me become more sociable. It has helped me gain a better understanding of people, not exactly a good thing, to be honest, and it allows me a certain flexibility with time that other jobs would not.


But pride? What does it mean to take pride in one's work when that work is not appreciated in the least by those for whom you are doing it?


Hephaestus is placing that challenge in front of me, and I have to try and figure it out.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Heliogenna Day 9 - To Helios

(This was supposed to post on December 25th, but a problem with my software prevented it from doing so.)


Rise, O Helios, into the vault of heaven

Rise and bring us your light

Rise that we may see, and in turn be seen by you

Rise and be made welcome


Fly, O Helios, toward the awaiting West

Fly with the wind in your glorious hair

Fly to the sounds of our praise

Fly, triumphant and proud


Make way darkness of night, the Lord of the golden chariot is here


Rise, O Helios, into the vault of heaven

Rise and clear the way for the coming year

Rise and nourish plant and animal with your warmth

Rise and be loved, by all that lives upon the sacred Earth


Fly, O Helios, and we fly with you

Fly that we may pin our hopes to you

Fly that all may see your countenance

Fly and be adored

Friday, December 24, 2010

Heliogenna Day 8 - To Olympians and Chthonoi

Bright above you dwell in splendor

And in your golden palaces you hear song

And as you move about you smell from below the scent of offering


Dark below you dwell in Hades

And in the blessed Earth you hide

And as you move about the dripping offerings make their way to you


And from man you hear the sweet song of praise

And the desire to know you

That they may be enriched by your presence.


Bright above and dark below

The eternal balance maintained

Life and Death assured for all


Dark below and bright above

The promise of new life is made

And forever kept by your divine grace


And from man you hear the prayers of hope

And the will to make this a time of renewal

That all may be well and love be in their hearts forever more.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Heliogenna day 7, to Hyperion, Eros, and Heated

In times gone by
When man strode uncivilized upon the plains
You watched the world from above
As Titan, strong and proud
Radiant Hyperion

In times long gone
When the world was young
You drew Heaven and Earth together
And even now do you draw me to him, beauteous and arousing
You, Eros, beautiful and primal

In times gone by
Among us today
You walk the paths we fear to tread and lead us
Lady who walks between the worlds
Hekate of the brightly burning torches

And as we walk this path of life
Let us remember the light
Let us remember the passion
And with them light the future with our desire to reach higher
While remaining strong and grounded.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Heliogenna Day 6: To Helios, Dionysos, and Persephone

Rise into the bright cold sky.

Lord Helios, who shines so bright.

And leave behind the cold dark lands below.

Come forth and watch over us, and grant us the hope of a warmer day.


And from the ashes of Titans, blessed Dionysos, you were reborn.

The heart once of a babes in your heart was placed.

Your divinity, wild and undeniable, revealed at last.

Welcomed at last into the realms of eternity.


And to you, blessed Queen of Hades, a prayer of thanks.

You who give us hope for a Spring Time to come.

And who rest in the land below.

Grant us your presence today, as a reminder, blessed Persephone of the dark gowns.


I am not afraid.

No longer in mourning.

I celebrate today a new beginning.

A Sunrise soon to come.


Καλά Ηλιούγεννα!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Heliogenna, Day 5, the Day of Silence

On the 5th Day of Heliogenna, I write no poems, make no offerings. I usually do not light any candles or any kind of ritual activity, but this morning I did make the mistake of lighting my Virgin Altar, it has become such a part of my daily routine that I just forgot, and out of respect, I did not extinguish it.


This is the Day of the Solstice, the Day the Sun God is is in the underworld the longest, and then he will rise.


See you all tomorrow.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Heliogenna, Day 4: To Helios, Dionysos, and Hades

Heliogenna, Day Four, To Helios, Dionysos, and Hades


In the light of day, I walk

In the darkness of night, I dance

The eternal ballet between the light of reason and the turmoil of madness.

To Helios I offer

From Helios I ask

For favors of warmth and light.


In the sunlight, I pray

In the moonlight, I cry

The eternal passions of my fractured soul.


To Dionysos I pray

From Dionysos I ask

For favors of enlightenment and sanity.


In the day time, I wonder

In the nigh time, I fear

The eternal darkness that awaits us all.


To Hades I offer

From Hades I ask

For favors of silver and gold.


In Day’s brightness, I see

In Night’s darkness, I sense

The eternal truths of worldly divinity.


To these Gods, I offer

To these Gods, I pray

For favors not meant for me.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Heliogenna, Day 3: To The Protognoi

Heliogenna, Day Three, To the Protogonoi


And in the beginning

On the boundless sea of nothingness

You spread your mighty wings

Dark and mighty Nyx


And into this boundless sea also came Erebus

The impenetrable darkness

Your eternal mate

Father of Death and dreams


And resplendent in beauty came he

Who draws men nearer

And loosens the knees with passion

Most glorious Eros, of the beautiful face


And broad bossomed mother

Who brings forth the mountains and the caves

And serves as the fount of all mortal life

Ever giving Gaea


And to surround them came he

Who was formless yet powerful

The first ocean

Mighty Pontus, of the foaming waves.


And to Ge was born he

Who would betray she who loved him

Self proclaimed King of the Heavens

Father of Titans, Ouranos, the castrated.


And on this, third day of Heliogenna, we call on you who were the first.

On this day we do you honor

Blessed Protogonoi, fathers and mothers of the universe.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Heliogenna, Day 2: The Mighty Twelve

Heliogenna, Day Two, to the Olympians


Shining bright you reign in heaven.

Shining bright you give us hope.

Shining bright you bring us close to nature.


You, O blessed Olympians, eternal and divine.


In darkness you guide us.

In darkness you ground us.

In darkness you light the way.


You, O mighty Olympians, brilliant yet obscure.


In our hearts you make us feel.

In our hearts you inspire us.

In our hearts you reward us.


You, O mighty Olympians, omnipresent and serene.


Friday, December 17, 2010

Heliogenna, Day 1: The Moon Hides

Heliogenna, Day One, to the Hyperionides.


The sky is rosy

The clouds are pink

The Sun awaits his day


The Moon heads for the Western shore


The sky grows lighter

The gates of heaven open

The immortal steeds are eager


The Moon arrives at her gates


The blinding light

The hues of blue

The rays of his crown

The Moon shines bright upon the dead


The all-seeing Lord

The eternal gate keeper

The watcher of the night


The Moon hides her face from man

Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Reason for the Season

It's about this time of year that Fox News riles up the Christofascists into a frenzy over the "War on Christmas". Maybe when someone demands that you say Merry Christmas you can hand them a copy of this article over on Patheos. It is quite a nice piece.

Christ Is Not The Reason For The Season.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The lame duck

In myth, Hephaestos is lame. His feet are damaged and he is seen as being ugly or deformed. This would have been, in the mythic cycle, a set of very distinct features because all of the Gods of Olympus, save he, are said to be of the most perfect form of beauty. They are tall, bright, powerful, and their appearance is such that it brings tears to the eye, so beautiful.


That Hephaestos is ugly and lame makes him the only God of so exalted a position, an Olympian God, who is not simply perfect in his beauty. I find this aspect of the God a hard one, not because I find it hard to accept the idea of an ugly God, but because I find a lot in that to relate to, yet, to be honest, I don't want to relate to it. I don't want to see myself that way, yet I do, and it is not simply me being self loathing, though I suppose there is some of that there, but an honest appraisal.


I am an ugly man, and at one time that was an ugliness that went deep. I was nearly insane in my mind, and it was getting away from my family, though I love them dearly, that has allowed me to heal, or be in the process of healing, my inner self. The outer self now requires some assistance, some care, some beautifying.


When I read the stories of Hephaestos and the way his parents threw him from Olympus and the horrible deformity that caused, I am reminded of my own childhood, the abuse, the loneliness, the fear, and it brings back memories that I find difficult to deal with on an emotional level, though on an intellectual level I acknowledge and accept them.


This whole blog is about me trying to discover things about myself while attempting to understand the divine, and in so doing allowing those two things to sink in and help me heal myself.


As the stories go, and in myth there is never just one version of a story, Hera and Zeus were in a most contentious marriage. Zeus was a philanderer and Hera a jealous being. Either Zeus and Hera had the child or Hera, in anger and out of revenge, decided to bear a child without a father as Zeus had borne the goddess Athena. (He did so from his forehead, and one myth tells of Hephaestos already being there and assisting in that birth)


The anger and fights were legendary in this marriage, and either the child was born with some defect which Hera could not bear, or her anger at the child caused her to throw the child from the heavens and his landing on the earth caused his deformities. Whatever the case, the child ended up on earth and was taken care of by Eurynome and Thetis.


I am reminded here of my early childhood, the abuse of my mother by my father, and the way her own anger was often thrown our way. The beatings and the harsh words would break me, of this I am sure, and among all this the burgeoning knowledge in myself that I was different from other people. I was not only very precocious, something neither of my parents were equipped to recognize (I made rather logical assumptions about my parents fairly early on, at ages 7 or 8 I was aware already that they would eventually go their separate ways, and I was happy about it) but I was also already recognizing that I was not like other boys. I did not like girls the same way they do. (I am sorta 85% gay, but identify as gay) And in the mid 70's in Puerto Rico, that was not a good thing, socially.


Zeus and Hera, of course, never divorce. They are an eternal couple, but in my head, they had a marriage based on status and necessity. Not that there is no love, I cannot claim to know what Gods feel, but the mythic characters based on their divine reality seem this way to me. Their interactions with their children are rarely if ever shown to be loving, at least in a way our modern culture attributes as loving, and in many ways, this is exactly how my own childhood was.


Of course, my early childhood and my later childhood were different in many ways, but that period of my life left me with great scars. I feel, in my mind, that I am grateful that in the end my mother did leave my father and that although the abusive behavior from her did not stop with that, it diminished over the years and through her experiences with us, as well as my eventually growing too big for my mother to abuse and confronting her with the fact, she changed. If the abuse I suffered as a child led to her changing as a person, and my two youngest sisters (from her second marriage, another abusive man, though his abuse was only toward her, never the kids) getting to grow up with a much nicer, kinder, gentler person, I have to say it was worth it.


But Hephaestos gets his revenge on his mother, not in a vicious way, though he does bind her, he does so by claiming his place on Olympus, and by becoming the greatest of all craftsmen, the beauty of his work reflecting the beauty of his interior where his exterior did not.


So, I should look at myself and see the outer ugliness, and seek to do something about it, but to also look at how I express the beauty that may lie within me so that people see that beauty and learn to appreciate it, regardless of what I may look like on the outside.