Good Selfishness

I have been doing some thinking about this, and yes, selfishness, my own included, is a bad thing. I hadn’t quite expected this to be what I was thinking of while working on my connection to Aphrodite, but these things come as they come, not as I want them to. Selfishness is bad because it forces us, with our consent, to ignore the needs of others. It is not a good thing to have yourself as the sole reason for being, the sole reason for everyone else to be.

But, and I suppose this is where Aphrodite comes in, selfishness is a byproduct of self love? What is self esteem requires us to be selfish and that we must then force ourselves, as thinking beings, to also include love of others to temper that selfishness? And what if most people simply don’t do that?

Of course, there are some relationships in which we are selfless instinctively. We are selfless with our children, most of the time. We are slefless with our parents, some of the time, and we try to be selfless with our mates, some of the time. But if we ask ourselves, if we truly explore our motivations for the things we do, do we not more often than not come up with a selfish answer? Do we do good for others because it makes us feel good? Is that selfish? If so, so what?

You see, sometimes selfishness can cause us to do good things for other people. Sometimes a desire to feel good can lead us to making others feel good as well, and that crosses many lines in our lives, from giving to charity and donating our time to dating and making love. Sometimes making others feel good, be it in the soup kitchen or in the bedroom, makes us feel good too, and as a result it can be selfishness made manifest for the good.

I suppose it is cynical to look at a considerate lover or a nun giving her time to maintain a homeless shelter as selfish, because they are often motivated by more than just selfishness, but there is that element in all the things we do, and sometimes we have to let a little selfishness in. We have to think of ourselves and not everyone around us, because if we concentrate all our efforts on what others need, we will be sucked dry, physically and spiritually, and if we are to ever do anyone any good in the future, we must make sure we are around and willing to help in the future by taking care of ourselves today.

So, go out and do something that makes you feel good, it’s OK, just remember to temper it so that it is also making others feel good, and you will see how sometimes small acts of kindness, even done to make you feel good, can have a much greater impact on the world than you think.