Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Good Selfishness

I have been doing some thinking about this, and yes, selfishness, my own included, is a bad thing. I hadn’t quite expected this to be what I was thinking of while working on my connection to Aphrodite, but these things come as they come, not as I want them to. Selfishness is bad because it forces us, with our consent, to ignore the needs of others. It is not a good thing to have yourself as the sole reason for being, the sole reason for everyone else to be.

But, and I suppose this is where Aphrodite comes in, selfishness is a byproduct of self love? What is self esteem requires us to be selfish and that we must then force ourselves, as thinking beings, to also include love of others to temper that selfishness? And what if most people simply don’t do that?

Of course, there are some relationships in which we are selfless instinctively. We are selfless with our children, most of the time. We are slefless with our parents, some of the time, and we try to be selfless with our mates, some of the time. But if we ask ourselves, if we truly explore our motivations for the things we do, do we not more often than not come up with a selfish answer? Do we do good for others because it makes us feel good? Is that selfish? If so, so what?

You see, sometimes selfishness can cause us to do good things for other people. Sometimes a desire to feel good can lead us to making others feel good as well, and that crosses many lines in our lives, from giving to charity and donating our time to dating and making love. Sometimes making others feel good, be it in the soup kitchen or in the bedroom, makes us feel good too, and as a result it can be selfishness made manifest for the good.

I suppose it is cynical to look at a considerate lover or a nun giving her time to maintain a homeless shelter as selfish, because they are often motivated by more than just selfishness, but there is that element in all the things we do, and sometimes we have to let a little selfishness in. We have to think of ourselves and not everyone around us, because if we concentrate all our efforts on what others need, we will be sucked dry, physically and spiritually, and if we are to ever do anyone any good in the future, we must make sure we are around and willing to help in the future by taking care of ourselves today.

So, go out and do something that makes you feel good, it’s OK, just remember to temper it so that it is also making others feel good, and you will see how sometimes small acts of kindness, even done to make you feel good, can have a much greater impact on the world than you think.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I like your poems. I like this one. Your site touches me.

You should just go up too the person your are or was interested in and talk to him. Make sure he knows who you are because if someone has not seen you in years they may not know you, shaved head or whatever. Yes you are tall. I like that poem too. Why do I look at you? You want too know all the answer? They will surprise you and should make you smile. I love it when you smile.

Do You Blame Me?

In the delusion of your mind, do you seek me out?
Do you want me to see you?
Do you hear me when I speak?

In the desolation of your life, do you ask for me?
Do you expect me to hear you?
Do you want me to understand?

In the pain of your existence, do you honor me with praise?
Do you seek to bribe me?
Do you think me your friend?

In the long nights as you toss and turn, do you feel me?
Do you understand me?
Do you even ask for my help?

In your most unbearable loneliness, do you blame me?
Do you not see my hand at work?
Do you not see you refuse it?

And in the darkness of your self destruction, do you hold onto me too tightly?
Do you sense the truth around you?
Do you know it is yourself you must blame?

No, I don't blame you! I blame me. And if you want to know more you need to find me and talk to me. If not then I'm sorry. I will leave you alone.

And I will always love you. And I will never forget you.

I guess this is all I can say on here.

Good luck and take care always.

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