Saturday, January 31, 2009

Friend and his sex life.


This blog entry is going to be rather explicit, maybe, so if you are offended b y sexuality or profanity, you may wish to skip it.

A friend of mine came over yesterday. I didn’t really want him here, I have to get up for work at 4AM on Saturdays, so when he showed up around 8PM, I was really not amused. He’s a cool guy, mind you, and when we get together from time to time it is always interesting because he and I have a very similar sense of humor and we always find ourselves laughing. This is great, but I really needed to get to sleep.

I was not really in a mood to listen to bullshit, but the friend in me did so anyway, because the obligations of friendship demand it. You see, my friend has issues with relationships, and by that I mean he usually has more than one going at a time.

Now, I’ll tell ya, I am not a judgmental conservative type. I think if you like to have sex, go have sex. You like it one on one, fine. You like threesomes? Fine. You like big fuckin orgies? Have at it, just be careful, responsible, and above all, be honest!

His latest drama is really all about having found himself “in love” with two people. One, a lovely young lady who I have known for a year or so, and the second a very handsome man of about 35 who I have only met the once, and the impression I got of him was not a pleasant one. But he likes him, loves him by his account.

Now, the woman knows all about this. She is pressuring him to commit to a more monogamous relationship, but the man does not know that he is also dating a woman. If you knew him and me, you would know that he tells me everything. Sometimes I have to stop him, because I don’t need to hear how wet she was when he was sliding in to her or how good it felt to get fucked three times in one night.

It isn’t that I am a prude. I love porn, I love erotica, I love sexuality as a topic of conversation and as a means to explore ourselves and our connections to each other. It is that I know him, have been intimate with him, and have always tried to maintain a certain decorum, a certain line that I try not to cross with people, and he seems not willing to respect that line, that boundary.

I am fine with him talking sex, I just don’t want to hear every detail.

He is a Pagan, not a Hellenistos, but a Wiccan, and part of me wants to quote the Rede to him when he talks about the man he is dating not knowing about his relationship with a woman, but I am also left to wonder if perhaps telling him might hurt him more than not.

So, I turn to Aphrodite in search for an answer, and I was shocked to find that she was not very helpful to me. I didn’t have tea with her, of course, but in meditating on the questions involved, I found that I was left bereft of an answer.

Should I advise him to tell the man he’s dating? Should I advise him to commit more fully to his girlfriend? The only answer that kept popping into my mind was “Tell him who he is” and that left me a little confused. Am I supposed to sit him down and point out his personality to him so he can better look at this with the proper mind set?

Hmm, it’s a fuckin mess, but I think what I really want to say is, I wish you hadn’t bugged me with this shit. What does someone exploring Aphrodite advise someone in a situation like this?

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