Esoteric?

So, what do I mean when I speak of the "esoteric?"

The definition of esoteric is something likely to be understood by a few with specialized knowledge or interest. That is to say, something that is fairly "hidden" in a sense from the common man. The Mysteries, for example, were esoteric in that they were known only to a select few, the initiated.

In a broader definition, one others may not necessarily agree with, I see esoteric as meaning "occult" or "mystical." These are things that have always bothered me. I believe that esoteric knowledge is essentially selfish. If something is useful to mankind, I think it should be shared openly. That aside, however, I am very much against the idea of magic as anything other than fantasy and ritual. As pure ritual, magical ritual is no different from any other. I have no issues with magical ritual.

My issues are with those who claim to possess special preternatural powers. Powers that they feel they should not prove because they should just be believed at their claims. As a rational person, I very much oppose this kind of insistence on blind faith. I don't think the Gods approve of it either. And I certainly do not see a God like Apollo approving of that kind of blindness.

But is Apollo calling me to something esoteric?

I think he may be, but what?

Is there a mystery unfolding before my eyes that I am just not seeing? And if so how do I see it?