Monday, February 22, 2010

More to it than that

Since I seem to have come by Hermes as a god of sexuality, I think I may stick with this aspect of him and explore it a bit. Aphrodite gave me some insight into why I choose to behave as I do as a sexual being, and I am hoping Hermes will give me some insight into what it means to be q sexual man, not just a sexual being. I am making a distinction here because I believe that we often are very distinct beings in our lives. Not that we are suffering from multiple personalities, but that our motivations for behaving or acting out sexually differ from context to context, and one of those contexts is in being a man and what it means to have the sexual drive and desire that all men do, and how to manage that in my life so as to make of myself a better person.

So, before I continue, allow me to make clear that I do not consider sex, be it part of a relationship or some wild sex orgy at a bathhouse, to be immoral. Immorality to me is about harmful or willfully deceitful behavior, so if you are having sex and are doing so in q consensual situation, you are doing nothing wrong in my opinion. What I mean by making myself a better person by examining my sexuality I mean that because I want to enjoy a healthy and dare I say it prolific sex life, I want to know that I am doing it with the proper motivation in mind. I do not want to engage in sex out of a sense of desperation or depression. I want to do it because I simply enjoy it. Because I want to, not because I need it to improve my self image.

So, the god of communication is also a god of sexuality, and yes, I do have to give a shout out to the girls, who have been telling us guys ghat for ages now. But in this case, it is about internal communication. It is about the way we tell ourselves how to handle our own inner turmoils. And we men are really bad a acting out sexually when we are hurting on the inside. Sex can be like q drug to us, and if we're not careful we. An lose sight of what it is we really need out of our connections with others, and just as importantly, lose sight of the needs and humanity of the people we are sexually engaging with, making them into a collection of body parts rather that real people.

This isn't to say that anonymous hot sex is a bad thing, but that to acknowledge the humanity of your partners, no matter the situation, will make you a better lover. A better man, and it will remove from you the guilt we sometimes feel when we have basically used another human being as a masturbatory aid. Even if you have no emotional tie there, treating him or her with due respect will make the experience a good one. And, on the other hand, we must be willing to demand to be treated with respect. If not, we are debasing ourselves in ways we are asked never to do even before the gods, who ask us not to lower ourselves before them, but to stand proud.

Here Hermes comes in to remind us of who we are, and what we are as sexual beings. We are men, capable of thought and communication that can elevate us, use the gift he has given us to raise the bar and make he acceptance of his aspect as a god of energetic sexuality into something divine.

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