Reflections

So, where am I so far? Have I come even close to understanding how Apollo s supposed to help me at this point? Am I even being presumptuous to assume he would help me? Am I looking in the right directions and with the right questions in my heart? Is there ever really a way to know that until after the fact?

I have always been against the idea of prophecy. I tend to consider it stupid. We have to live in the here and now and make decisions to create tomorrow, attempts to know tomorrow are, in my opinion, a delusion in which we seek to relieve ourselves of the responsibilities of our own decisions. As fucked up as I am, I tend to think that I am in this sense responsible enough to know that I cannot relieve myself of those responsibilities.

But what of a guiding hand? Is it wrong to seek out a little guidance from heaven?

In answer to this I have decided that it may be time to move away from Apollo and proceed to the next step, that perhaps the way the God has decided to help me is by forcing myself to ask questions I cannot really answer and thus realize that I am not as in control as I like to think I am. That in the end, the lesson he had to teach me was a simple slap down.

I have, however, decided to take some time today to ask him a couple of questions. Questions that I hope he can answer through the simple drawing of cards. The method is simple. One pack of ordinary playing cards. Two cards per question. You ask the question and draw two cards, if the first card drawn is higher than the second, the answer is yes or in the affirmative/positive. If the second card drawn is higher, the answer is no or in the negative.

I will try this after I do some meditation today, and I will post details about the questions and answers.