Sunday, April 12, 2009


I’ll be honest, connecting to people is hard for me. I am very much a solitary creature. My mind is always flowing, running, going at a million miles a minute, and in many threads all at the same time. It is why writing this website is sometimes so hard for me, and why some of what I say sometimes seems to make no sense. This is not ADD or some such, this is simply the fact that I am essentially disconnected from people on a fundamental level, and so my mind works and works, within itself creating a world that is mine.

Before you jump to the conclusion that I am crazy, I do have friends, and I do have conversations with them, but I often find my friends limited because they cannot understand my own ways. I understand that there is no way for them to be able to do that, since so much of what I am, and who I am, is happening in my own head and they are not mind readers. But I often find it difficult to convey the concepts in my head, which makes it hard for people to get me. Perhaps language is not what I need in order to convey some of these concepts, perhaps it is through some other medium that I need to do this, or perhaps a different use of language, one which might convey what I mean without being encumbered by conversational conventions.

I don’t know.

But I do know that Aphrodite is asking me to try. Aphrodite is forcing me to take a look at my inability to connect and to break that pattern, because I have to learn to be a better friend, a better lover, and a better man, and the first step in doing that is to learn to let others understand me.

Now, if I could just figure out the best way to do that?

Suggestions, anyone?

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