I am a man, after all, and I love sex. But allow me to share something which I have mentioned before, and that is that for me sex is not really a physically pleasurable event the same way others seem to explain it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it tremendously, but I think maybe I must be a bit different from most people when it comes to the physical sensations of sex. I don’t know why it is, but the intense physical sensation others describe are not something I feel, and therefore those are things I sometimes have trouble relating to.
However, sex is about more than just how your winky feels when you stick it somewhere. It is about an entire experiential event. About the meeting of eyes, the first kiss in the throws of arousal, the feel of a nipple under the palm of your hand, the warmth of a body, and the sounds, scents, and feelings, emotionally/psychologically speaking.
It is this aspect of sex that I love, and often enough, being the man ho that I am, those are things I experience with men I barely know, if I know them at all. (No worries, I am a ho, but a careful ho)
I am intensely attracted to the sexual arousal, the foreplay, and the inner turmoil of sex. And what do I mean by inner turmoil? I mean those feelings that arise from pondering your partners as you have sex. Is he loving this? Am I pleasing him? Are we enjoying this equally? Am I really into this guy, or am I just satisfying some urge?
Thought doesn’t end with sex, and all through sex, just as while I try to sleep, while I work, etc., I am thinking, and those thoughts are often highly disconnected to the actual experience at hand. What time is it? What kind of soap does he use? Etc. And these thoughts often bother me. Our romanticized view of love and sex makes it hard to know, often, what is actually natural during the act of sex, or love making, and we often beat each other up for things that are simply natural but which our society obfuscates in flowery language and crappy lyrics to bad love songs.
If I am enjoying a sexual encounter with a man, and a the current level of my toothpaste tube comes to mind spontaneously, then I simply have to laugh at that and move on, because sometimes Aphrodite just likes to toss wrenches in the works to see if we are paying attention.
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